Angel of Mercy
Summary Credits * Aired: January 28, 1976 * Written by: James D. Parriott * Directed by: Alan Levi Guest Stars * Andy Griffith - Jack Starkey * Claudio Martinez - Julio * James Karen - George Morehouse * Jean Allison - Judith Morehouse * Bert Santos - Castro Beard * Robbie Rist - Andrew * Paul Berrones - Wounded Soldier * Alycia Gardner - Gwen * Robbie Wolcott - Mark Quotes Oscar: Do you realize how much money we could make if I patented you as a household tool? Jaime: It would be a lot safer too. ---- Jaime: It's not the mission - I'll do that. It's the part about being a nurse. Oscar, I can't even put on a bandaid! Oscar: Oh, I don't think there'll be any doctoring, Jaime. Now, here's a uniform. Jaime: Uh-huh, and a first aid manual? Oscar: We'll be arriving at Costa Bravo in about - oh, two hours, and you'll have plenty of time to just... uh... cram. Jaime: Let's hope that the teacher can cram alot better than her kids. (starts reading the first aid manual) "How to stop arterial bleeding"? Oh, Oscar... I... I... (covers her face) Oscar: (laughs and gives her a hug) You're going to make it, pal. Jaime: You're nuts. ---- (Oscar and Jaime watch a helicopter fly erratically overhead). Jaime: Is that my pilot? Oscar: His name is Jack Starkey, and he's the finest helicopter pilot alive. Jaime: Yeah? Who says? Oscar: He says. Jaime: (sarcastically) Oh, good. ---- Starkey: I admire your courage, Sommers. I'm not so sure about your brain. ---- Starkey: Well, we can't take Julio with us. The kid can barely walk; he'll slow us down. Jaime: I'll carry him. Starkey: You'll what? Jaime: He can ride on my shoulders. Starkey: You'll never make it; your legs aren't strong enough. Jaime: Well, then, you carry him. Starkey: Me carry him? Not in a blue moon, a month of Sundays, or till Biloxi, Mississippi freezes over, am I walking through the jungle with a kid on my back, and that's final! (Camera pans up to show Julio riding on Starkey's shoulders). Jaime: How're your legs holding up? Starkey: Fine. Good exercise. ---- (Julio pulls the snake that Jaime killed earlier out of his bag). Jaime: You eat those? Julio: Si. Good meat, but they are hard to catch. You killed it, so half belongs to you. (gestures towards Jaime) Jaime: (jumping back) Uh... Julio... finders, keepers, honey. It's all yours. Julio: Gracias. Since you don't want it. ---- Jaime: (fixes the landing gear of the plane) Okay, now does that do it? Starkey: How'd you do that? Jaime: Starkey, get these blocks outta here, get in the plane, and I'll go get the others. Starkey: Well, maybe I should... Jaime: (exasperated) Starkey... Starkey: (quickly) Yes, ma'am. ---- Starkey: Sommers, we got a problem. the engine won't turn over; the battery's dead. Jaime: Well, what if I spin the propeller? Starkey: Aw, you can't - it's too heavy. You... (looks at Jaime, who shoots him a dirty look) On second thought... ---- Nitpicks 103